Hi Trauma Champion,
In this edition of The Childhood Trauma Newsletter, I want to share a strategy that is working in my family for anxious, intrusive thoughts. But before we get there, what are scary, intrusive thoughts, and why do they happen? If you’ve ever experienced them, like I have, then unfortunately, you know how disturbing they can be. But for those who may not know about this psychological phenomenon or why it happens, read on.
Scary, intrusive thoughts are relatively common in children and adults. While the prevalence can vary from child to child, it is important to recognize that experiencing intrusive thoughts, including frightening or distressing ones, is a normal part of cognitive development. These thoughts are a natural product of a child’s growing awareness of the world, imagination, and cognitive processes. Some key points to consider regarding scary intrusive thoughts in children are:
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- Developmental Stage: Intrusive thoughts can be more frequent during specific developmental stages, such as early childhood and the preadolescent years, when children explore new concepts and try to make sense of the world around them.
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- Individual Variability: Every child is unique, and the frequency and intensity of intrusive thoughts can vary significantly from one child to another. Some children may rarely experience them, while others may have them more frequently.
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- Transient Nature: In many cases, these thoughts come and go and may not persist for extended periods. They are often temporary and may decrease in frequency as a child matures.
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- Stress and Anxiety: Intrusive thoughts can become more pronounced in children experiencing high stress levels, anxiety, or other emotional challenges due to trauma. Stressful life events or significant changes in a child’s environment can contribute to the frequency and intensity of these thoughts.
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- Expression of Imagination: Children often have active imaginations, and their intrusive thoughts can sometimes be linked to their vivid imagination. These thoughts may not necessarily reflect their true desires or intentions.
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- Openness and Support: It is crucial to create an environment where children feel safe to talk about their thoughts without fear of judgment. Open communication can help parents, caregivers, and teachers understand the nature of a child’s thoughts and provide appropriate support. ***In addition to typical development, childhood trauma can significantly influence the occurrence and severity of intrusive thoughts in children. Traumatic experiences like abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence can create a fertile ground for intrusive thoughts to thrive. Trauma-related intrusive thoughts often revolve around memories or flashbacks of the traumatic event, intensifying distress and anxiety.
It’s essential for parents, caregivers, and educators to be aware of the possibility of scary intrusive thoughts in children and to differentiate between average developmental experiences and potential signs of emotional distress. While these thoughts are common, if they become persistent, severe, or significantly interfere with a child’s daily life, seeking guidance from a mental health professional is advisable to ensure the child receives appropriate support and intervention.
Helping Children Cope with Intrusive Thoughts
“Change the Channel” Strategy
Created by Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting
My child and I devised this game when she had difficulty going to bed one night. Give it a shot and see if it helps your children find their “felt safety” during stressful times. With trauma, feeling safe is always the first goal, so here we go:
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- Ask them to rate their fear on a scale of 1-10 and write it down.
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- Help them express their thoughts and feelings. Ask if they want to draw a picture of the worst part or tell/write a story about it with a different ending. Encourage them to make the ending funny or successful. This helps them reorient from fear to safety.
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- Explain that it’s normal to have scary thoughts. We all have them sometimes. Then, share a common scary thought you had as a child.
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- Say: “Did you know we can choose to think about whatever we want? When we have scary thoughts, it can help us think about something else for a bit”.
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- Grab your phone or a remote control and ask your child if they want to play a game called “change the channel.”
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- Then you ask your child to imagine themselves doing something they LOVE to do, and it can be anything at all, even impossible things.
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- Then, using the remote, tell the child that you are changing the channel for them in their brain from the “scary thoughts” channel to the “safe and sound” channel.
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- Tip: It can be funny to make obnoxious beeping sounds as you pretend to “change their channel.” I might know from experience 😉
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- Observe to see if the child can calm down. After a few minutes, you can ask them how scared they feel on a scale of 1-10 to see where they are. If they notice their anxiety has reduced, this is a learning opportunity to show them that their feelings can change quickly.
News from Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting
Last week, I went to New York to speak at the Kinship Care Month Celebration! I was touched by the many conversations I had with the kinship families and the professionals who serve this population. I took photos with “The Kinship Caregiver of the Year,” a grandmother raising multiple grandchildren who perseveres through the most difficult challenges but never gives up.
Below is a photo of me with the family. They were excited to get their signed copy of my book for kinship families, A Grandfamily for Sullivan.
You can watch a short video of the event HERE. As we close Kinship Month, I thank the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other kin raising children from hard places. You are changing the world for the better and breaking the cycle of trauma.
My latest podcast interview with neuroscientist and professor Selena Bartlett is out today.
We discuss several pop psychology myths regarding trauma-informed care, including our controversial thoughts on diagnosing “disorders” in children. I think you will find our conversation thought-provoking and insightful – if I do say so myself!
Click below to listen and read the full show notes for an overview of the myths.
LIVE EVENT COMING UP!
I am hosting a masterclass about How to Prevent and Heal Childhood Trauma on the Circles app on Monday, September 25th at 6 pm EST.
For those who don’t know, Circles is an app that connects adults going through similar life challenges so your never alone. It is especially helpful if you need extra support while coping with childhood trauma, loss, or parenting struggles.
You must download the app to participate in my masterclass, which I find frustrating. Still, after giving it some thought, I decided to do this event because there is an existing audience on the app that might benefit from my message. If you are interested in attending, you can download the app for free temporarily and cancel it if it’s not for you. I hope to see you there!
I am currently accepting inquiries for training and speaking events on trauma-responsive and healing-centered care for organizations that serve children. Please contact me at info@bethtyson.com to plan your custom interactive event!
Trauma Resources of the Month
“In response to the growing number of students who need mental health counseling, the School-Based Healthcare Solutions Network (SBHSN) is accepting applications from Local Education Agencies (LEA), Public and Private Universities, State and local Colleges, Charter School Management Companies, Public Schools, Charter Schools, and Non-Profit Organizations (501c3) to implement and expand mental health program services on local school campuses.”Please share this within your communities and school districts.
Listen to Bethany’s recent podcast episode on Intergenerational Trauma with renowned trauma therapist Dr. Mariel Buque. Bethany’s podcast is a beacon of healing for everyone involved in the adoption constellation. If you or someone you know is adopted, I highly encourage you to take a listen. Shameless plug: I will be a guest on Bethany’s show soon. Stay tuned by following her pod.
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- Leslie Davila, co-chair of the Pennsylvania Child Abuse Prevention Team through HealPA.org, has dedicated her life to preventing child abuse. Check out this incredible resource she created to teach parents and caregivers how to keep children SAFE from abuse. We must educate ourselves on the risks and prevention strategies to protect children. Not doing so is negligent, in my opinion. That might sound harsh, but we must do everything possible to prevent abuse. Although I know firsthand how hard it is to think about child sexual abuse, we can’t let our discomfort stop us from protecting children.
Next Steps
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- Is there a topic you would like me to teach about that you don’t see in my newsletter, or do you have suggestions for content to add that would be helpful? If so, please email info@bethtyson.com and share your ideas with me. I will consider each one.
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- To read past versions of the Childhood Trauma Newsletter, packed with valuable skills for trauma-responsive care and free resources, please visit bethtyson.com/blog.
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- Can you forward this newsletter to a friend or colleague who will benefit? This is how we change the world for children, one person at a time.
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- Likes, shares, and comments on social media posts are how we reach more people with this message about trauma-responsive care. When a post is liked or commented on, it tells the social media algorithms that people are interested in the content, and it gets pushed out to more viewers.
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- If a friend sent this article to you, you can subscribe to my free Childhood Trauma Newsletter at BethTyson.com. Just click the subscribe button at the top of the page, and make sure you respond to the opt-in email (check your spam folder).
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- Follow me on social media! I am constantly learning from my conversations with all of you.
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While we strive to be the best caregivers/therapists/teachers we can be, we must also remember that we don’t have to get it right every second of the day. Hang in there and keep going! The children need you.
With hope and love,
Beth
