Summer break is about a month away, and while this is a happy time for most, children living in trauma and adversity often feel extra stressed this time of year.
I mean, Moms don’t call it “Maycember” for nothing. We are also stressed, which kids will pick up on.
The last few weeks of school are as stimulating as Halloween and December combined. There are field trips, graduations, IEP meetings, sports, recitals, end-of-the-year parties, court dates, and report cards, and kids feel every ripple. While most of these activities are positive, they can still activate the stress response in our nervous systems. It’s our body’s way of saying, “too much input, must run, fight, or shut down.”
A Trauma Therapy Story: Summer Break Isn’t A Break for Every Kid
(Identifying information is changed to protect confidentiality)
As an in-home trauma therapist, I worked with a foster family who was about to have a child removed from their home because of behavioral challenges. It was towards the end of the school year, and tensions between the foster dad and the child were rising to an all-time high. According to the foster parents, the child was defiant, hiding food under their bed, and was failing three subjects in school.
Foster dad was what I would call “old school.” He was not reading parenting books or following Dr. Becky on Instagram, but he was doing the best he could given the situation and the tools he had.
I didn’t usually meet with the foster dad when I came to provide therapy because he said he wasn’t interested. However, things became so heated within the family that he agreed to attend our next session with us.
A week later, we sat at their kitchen table and I listened as the foster dad shared his parenting perspective, formed by his own upbringing, which included trauma… although I doubt that is what he would’ve called it.
As a trauma therapist, my approach with foster parents was first and foremost to build trust and then evoke empathy for the child by increasing awareness about the impact of abuse and neglect on the child’s developing nervous system.
Once I gained a little of the foster dad’s trust, I shared that I typically see the same flare-up of behavior in other families at this time of year. Next, I explained why the end of the school year might be especially tough for children in care, and lastly, I asked him if there was a time in his life when he was in a similar situation.
This last question allowed him to share even more about his trauma, which placed him gently in the shoes of his foster child. It was a lightbulb moment for the foster dad.
Instead of having the child removed, both foster parents agreed to keep working on the relationship with some of the insight and skills I share below.
End-of-the-Year Stress is High Right Now
For many caregivers, therapists, and child welfare professionals, May and June feel like a blur of end-of-year events on top of their regular obligations.
But we also know something deeper: for children with trauma histories or unstable home environments, this season of change is more than just busy. It can be triggering.
Think about it for a moment, the routines children rely on for safety are unraveling. Because of this, we might notice children becoming more anxious, clingy, overly silly, defiant, or even shut down/dissociating.
And, for children with a history of serious loss or abandonment, the end of the school year can activate feelings of grief. Saying goodbye to friends and the people they spend most of their day with can feel like a significant loss for a child who has already had to say goodbye to important people in their life.
These big emotions will typically show up in their nervous system first, activating behavior that frustrates unprepared adults.
Before children can tell us with words, their bodies are already communicating: “I don’t feel safe.”
So, today I want to give you two things:
• Why summer break isn’t a break for every kid
• 8 trauma-informed strategies for summer sanity
Why the End of the School Year Feels So Hard for Kids
-
The stability of the school routine disappears
-
Trusted adults (teachers, counselors, caseworkers) are suddenly absent
-
They face anxiety over where they’ll be all summer, or if they’ll be safe at home and in the community
-
For children experiencing food insecurity, school is their primary meal source
-
The upcoming summer break can bring intense questions (even if the child is in a safe home):
Who will protect me now?
What if I get moved again?
Will anyone notice if something happens to me?
Am I coming back to this school next year?
For these kids, the end of the school year might not feel like a prelude to summer freedom. It might feel like abandonment is on the horizon. For others, who have a negative environment at school, the summer break may be a welcome reprieve. It all depends on the experience the child has at school.
8 Trauma-Informed Strategies to Help Children Cope
If you are a caregiver or teacher and you have a child whose challenging behavior has suddenly intensified or become dysregulated, please consider that they might be anxious about the school year ending. These are a few steps we can take to quell their fears and help them (and ourselves) cope.
1. Co-Create Predictable Routines. Even small daily schedules provide comfort and structure. Use visual charts or simple checklists to show what comes next. Tell them at least two days ahead of time about changes to their routine. Giving them time to express their feelings about it and process the change can improve the child’s ability to manage their emotions and behavior.
“For children with trauma, predictability = survival.”
2. Provide Transitional Objects. Let children carry a comfort object between homes or visits. Examples: stuffed animal, familiar blanket, caregiver’s scarf, or a smooth connection stone. If you are a safe person for the child, give them an item or memento to take with them for the summer.
“One small item can anchor a child in the middle of chaos.”
3. Discuss Upcoming Changes. Prepare kids early for new placements, visits with family, or summer camps/trips. Practice transitions and narrate what will happen next. Be aware: Sending a child with a history of abandonment or loss to camp or on a trip without their safe person could trigger the fight/flight/freeze/fawn trauma responses.
“Children can’t regulate what they can’t predict.”
4. Offer Body-Based Regulation Tools. When school supports disappear, sensory tools become essential. Heavy work (picking up laundry baskets, carrying books), Chewy jewelry, crunchy snacks, rocking chairs, weighted lap pads.)
“For some, nervous system regulation begins in the body, not the mind.”
5. Strengthen Connection Rituals. Secure relationships are the most protective factor. Commit to spending 10 minutes a day with the child without any distractions. Make this a time where you give your full attention to the child without any judgments or instructions, just your observation. You can learn more about this strategy HERE.
6. Prepare for Sensory Overload. Summer brings fireworks (which can sound like g*nshots), crowds, and heat! Equip kids with noise-canceling headphones and a safe exit plan for overstimulation. Keep them cool, fed, and hydrated to avoid meltdowns.
7. Plan for what YOU need to stay regulated. Do you need to schedule a few sessions with your therapist? Do you need more support at home? Is there someone who can provide emergency breaks when you are overwhelmed? Think about how you can set yourself up for success this summer.
“Meeting YOUR needs protects everyone.”
8. Maintain Professional Supports (if possible). Even when school ends, keep therapy, mentorship, and virtual check-ins going. Check to see if you have an extended school year program in your school district, which is often available to children with trauma. Continuity of relationships = felt safety.
“Children thrive when trusted connections remain stable.”
The truth is: summer break isn’t a break for every child. But with compassion, planning, and trauma-informed care, we can reduce their fear and offer calm, predictable support when they need it most.
I want to reassure you that you’re already making a difference by thinking and planning ahead for the children you love. Thank you for being a steady presence and caring enough to go the extra mile! In trauma-informed care, small changes go a long way, and I know with more strategies, you can make this a summer of sanity for kids who need it.
Want to go deeper?
I offer trauma-informed training and consulting for families, systems, and organizations that want to build healing-centered relationships for children. Just comment below “schedule a call” or DM me on LinkedIn to chat.
You’re Invited to my Book Launch Party!!
Join me and the Grandfamilies and Kinship Support Network for my book launch party on Wednesday, May 28th! Nearly 200 people have already signed up, but I still have room for you.
We will give away free copies of the book to 10 lucky winners, and I’ll provide a 35-minute training on trauma-informed family time (aka supervised visits). Put this in your calendar now before you forget!
Please share this registration link in your newsletter or with social workers, foster/kinship families, therapists, and volunteers who provide care to children who attend supported family time. It’s FREE, and all are welcome.
To nominate a grandfamily, foster family, or organization that deserves a free copy of the book, email me at beth@bethtyson.com.
In Closing…
Thank you for taking the time out of your very hectic day to learn how to help children through trauma and loss. My goal in this lifetime is to spread as much knowledge as I can on trauma-informed and healing-centered care for children. If you have an extra second, please share this blog. It helps trauma-informed care reach more carers, which will in turn help more children. It also inspires me to keep writing these articles for you.
If you are new here, please subscribe at BethTyson.com to get this free newsletter delivered straight to your inbox!
With care and compassion,
Beth Tyson
Owner, Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting
References:
-
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory
-
Ogden, P., & Fisher, J. (2015). Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
-
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score
