Is it Safe to Post Our Children Online? A Trigger-Free Parenting™ Approach

I was supposed to be interviewed on BBC News last week about a topic I care deeply about, how public we allow our children to be online and in the media, but unfortunately, it was canceled due to a White House press conference.

Still, I think the conversation is too important to set aside, and since I already carefully prepared my thoughts, I want to share them with you.

Before I get started, I want to say: I’m so glad you’re here. If you’re new to my community, welcome, and if you are an OG of my newsletter, thank you for your continued readership. I do this for you!

Is it Safe to Post Our Children Online?

In our digital world, where the lines between public life and private life are blurred, children are often featured in videos, photos, and social media posts without a second thought.

However, from a trauma-informed perspective, I think we need to slow down and consider the impact our choices can have on our child’s autonomy, sense of trust, and most importantly, the quality of their relationship with us.

Now, I’m about to say something that might piss some people off:

Just because your child is cute, funny, or accomplished doesn’t mean the whole internet needs to know their every move.

I’m guilty of making this mistake early on as a parent. I didn’t post publically, but I did share photos and videos of my child with family, friends, and not-so-close friends on social media.

But, as I learned more about the potential consequences, I changed my digital boundaries and held back on how often and with whom I shared photos. While I still feel the urge to post (and believe me I do), I find myself discerning the possible outcomes before I hit share.

Like anything in parenting/caregiving, it’s a balance. In our digital world, it’s almost impossible to not have a digital footprint. What works for you and your child will be different than what works for me, and that’s okay too. I’m not here to shame or judge you.

I strongly believe in the “know better, do better” mindset, and I feel the pain of every parent and caregiver who faces the challenges of technology with our kids. It’s a relentless and exhausting battle, to say the least, and one that is fraught with uncertainty.

Why Does This Even Matter?

If you’ve ever had that middle-of-the-night cringe moment where you remember something you shared after a couple of glasses of wine, imagine it is your child who feels that way, only they can’t hit delete, or even ask you to take it down. A sobering thought for many of us.

Our kids’ digital footprints start before they can even talk. Before they can understand what it means to be public and the ramifications of it.

For children with trauma histories, foster care experiences, or difficult pasts, public sharing can be even more complex. Here’s why:

• Loss of Control = Triggering: Kids who have experienced trauma often struggle with feeling powerless over their lives. When trauma happens, power and safety is stolen. When we post about them without their knowledge or permission, it can reinforce that lack of control.

• Embarrassment and Shame: What seems funny to us (look at my toddler crying about bathtime!) might be humiliating for them in the future (Mom, why did you post that?!).

• Potential Safety Risks: Publicly sharing identifying details (like full names, school names, locations, or routines) can make kids more vulnerable to online predators or unwanted attention. *This is the most important reason to be cautious about online sharing. Children with a history of trauma or foster care are at high risk for exploitation and human trafficking.

• Emotional Triggers: If a child has experienced neglect, abuse, or instability, sharing their struggles online (even with good intentions) can feel like an invasion rather than support.

• Digital Kidnapping: Perpetrators are stealing images of kids online and creating fake profiles pretending to be the child or the parent of the child. This could have dire consequences for any child, especially those who already experienced trauma. A violation of this nature can lead to self-harm and deaths of despair.

• Identity Theft: There is a rise in hackers stealing children’s social security numbers. The information you share online can be used to figure out passwords and other entry requirements.

I know this is some heavy stuff and I thank you for your courage to read this article to protect your children.

It is not my intention to scare you, but to empower you to make decisions that protect your family. Please keep in mind that sharing on social media has complex outcomes for children, and not every possible situation is mentioned here.

How to Share Without Regret

So, what do we do if we still want to celebrate our kids online? Good news: you don’t have to stop sharing, just share strategically.

Safer Alternatives to Public Sharing:

• Blur or crop faces if your child is in foster care or has privacy concerns.

• Share stories, not struggles. Instead of “My kid had a meltdown today,” try “I learned a new way to support big emotions today.”

• Use nicknames or initials instead of full names. Do not share identifying information like birth dates, school location, or other personal information.

• Create a private family photo journal through a cloud-based app where only select family members can view special moments without public exposure.

• Keep some milestones private. Just because something is a big moment doesn’t mean it needs an audience. Children need to know that their life is not a performance for other people. It’s their life and their well-being that matter, not likes and comments.

What If I Already Overshared? (No Parent Shaming Here!)

If you’re reading this thinking, “Oh no, I’ve already posted so much,” take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and this isn’t about guilt, it’s about growth.

What You Can Do Now:

• Review past posts and delete anything that might be inappropriate or revealing.

• Talk to your kids (if they’re old enough) about what they want to keep private. You can even go through the posts together, which creates a bonding opportunity and helps them learn about digital boundaries.

• Change privacy settings on older posts or download them and then delete them from the platform.

• Set new boundaries moving forward. This is about doing better, not being perfect!

Final Thoughts: Protecting Trust, Not Just Privacy

At the heart of my upcoming book, Trigger-Free Parenting™ is a simple but powerful truth: our relationships with ourselves and our child are more important than anything else we do in life.

Parenting is a long game. Social media is not. And while a viral post might feel good in the moment, a child’s trust and safety is something we can’t afford to lose.

So the next time you go to post that adorable, hilarious, or unbelievable moment, pause and ask yourself: Is this supporting my child’s emotional safety? Or is it just supporting my feed?

If we can get into the habit of sharing with intention, we can still celebrate our children without making them feel like they grew up in a reality show they never signed up for.

Want to Learn More?

This is just the beginning of how my upcoming book, Trigger-Free Parenting™, helps us navigate parenting without accidentally triggering our kids or ourselves.

Trigger-Free Parenting™ is a groundbreaking guide that helps parents navigate the hidden emotional triggers that surface while raising children, especially those shaped by their own past experiences.

Rooted in trauma-informed principles, this book explores how unresolved childhood wounds can unknowingly impact our parenting, leading to reactive behaviors, guilt, and strained relationships with our kids.

Through practical strategies, self-reflective exercises, and compassionate insights, Trigger-Free Parenting™ empowers caregivers to break generational cycles, regulate their own emotions, and create a safe, connected, and healing environment for their children, without shame, fear, or overwhelm.

Join my newsletter for more trauma-informed insights, and be the first to know when my book Trigger-Free Parenting™ is available! Click HERE and go to the top left corner of my homepage to subscribe.

____________________________________________________

Resource of the Month

Many of you know that I have a love for advocating for kinship families (aka grandfamilies), especially grandparents raising their grandchildren. Yesterday, I had a heartwarming moment when a follower shared that, after taking my advice, they reached out to their local Kinship Navigator program, and it made a real difference!

This grandfamily received a much-needed money for food, gas, and other necessities, as well as free entry to local museums and other activities for children.

Wow! Nothing makes my heart smile like helping people. This is why I wrote my first children’s book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan: Coping Skills for Kinship Care, which you can purchase on Amazon.

If you are a kinship family, which means you are raising a family or friend’s child because their biological parents are unable to, consider reaching out to your local Kinship Navigator program for support and access to resources. You can also go to the Grandfamilies and Kinship Support Network for additional help. It could change your life!

____________________________________________________

Trauma Champion of the Month

April Pruitt, Podcast Host of Living In Mid-Bloom and Trauma Survivor

In a world where women of a certain age are often overlooked, I’m on a mission to flip the narrative and redefine what it means to be middle-aged. Are you wanting a life you’re not living? Do you want to connect with like-minded women who are curious about what the future holds?

With humor and compassion join April Denise Pruitt; sexual abuse survivor, writer, cat mom, and science nerd, as she dives into honest conversations about her own mental health journey along with a variety of guests whose own stories can help cultivate a community of support and understanding that we’re not alone in this. Get ready to bloom!

You can find all of her podcast episodes HERE.

____________________________________________________

I’m Currently Accepting Consulting Proposals for Fall/Winter 2025

Recent Testimonial:

Examples of My Consulting Work

Various CASA organizations nationwide:

• Curriculum Development: I developed a trauma-informed training curriculum for CASA volunteers. This curriculum equips them with the knowledge and skills to understand how trauma affects children’s behavior, communication, and emotional well-being. It also provides practical strategies for engaging with children in a way that promotes trust, safety, and resilience.

• Advocacy Resources: I’m currently creating step-by-step guides for CASA volunteers to use when engaging with children. These tools help volunteers facilitate meaningful conversations with children while minimizing the risk of re-traumatization.

• Training Volunteers: Through workshops and presentations, I train CASA volunteers to recognize trauma responses in themselves (vicarious trauma) to prevent burnout and compassion fatigue.