Welcome to the November 2024 Childhood Trauma Newsletter. This month, we have over 400 new subscribers, and I’m so honored you’re here!
Trauma-Informed Guidance for a Peaceful Thanksgiving Holiday
Children impacted by any kind of family separation, whether it be foster care, adoption, or divorce, don’t have to feel thankful during Thanksgiving or any other holiday. There, I said it!
Sure, for most people, Thanksgiving is a joyful time of year filled with family gatherings, shared traditions, and expressions of gratitude. But this year, it might be harder than normal to find things to be thankful for, and we should be willing to offer understanding to children and ourselves.
Unfortunately, for some, Thanksgiving holiday festivities can also trigger feelings of sadness, loss, fear, and isolation. School discussions centered on family, food, and traditions can unintentionally highlight the differences in students’ lives, bringing up painful reminders of family separation, unfulfilled wishes, or confusing emotions around their past and current family dynamics.
Children who have experienced abandonment, abuse, or neglect may be forced to spend time with abusers because of supervised visitation or as their caregivers make exceptions for visiting over the holiday. I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be for a child and the sense of impending doom it would bring to my nervous system.
If you haven’t considered Thanksgiving from a childhood trauma perspective before, I encourage you to approach it with compassion, awareness, and thoughtful strategies to support those who aren’t feeling grateful this year.
I want to also take a special moment to acknowledge the experiences of Indigenous and Native American families, for whom Thanksgiving can evoke feelings of anger, confusion, and grief. The history of this holiday is deeply tied to a painful legacy of betrayal and systemic racism.
I honor the resilience of Indigenous communities and recognize the suffering caused by the actions that began with the first Thanksgiving in 1621.
Let us commit to learning, listening, and working toward a future grounded in respect, equity, and justice for Indigenous peoples.
How Teachers Can Create a Trauma-Sensitive Thanksgiving
I get it. We all want to celebrate and find reasons to be positive during this holiday, especially because most people in the U.S. celebrate it. I am not here to be a Debbie Downer; I just want to offer some alternatives that might make things less triggering for children.
In classrooms, Thanksgiving discussions often focus on family and gratitude, themes that can be emotionally charged for children depending on their life circumstances. A child who doesn’t have a traditional family setup may feel alienated or ashamed when asked to share family traditions or express gratitude.
Teachers can unintentionally contribute to these feelings if they’re unaware of how complex Thanksgiving can be for children who have experienced abuse, neglect, and loss.
Three ways teachers can promote inclusivity:
1. Emphasize Universal Themes: Frame Thanksgiving as a time to celebrate kindness, community, and shared values rather than focusing exclusively on family gatherings or false myths. Emphasize inclusion and teamwork, making space for diverse expressions of thanks.
2. Avoid Direct Family Questions: Instead of asking students to share about their families, let them talk about any person, place, or memory that makes them feel good. A simple shift from “Who are you thankful for?” to “What are you thankful for?” can make a big difference.
3. Allow for Opt-Out: Give children the choice to participate in Thanksgiving discussions or activities. Recognize that some might need a break or feel uncomfortable sharing their personal experiences. If you have Indigenous children in your classroom, remember to be sensitive to how these conversations may impact their emotions and behavior.
4. Become Trauma-Aware: Know the symptoms to look for when the child is overwhelmed or distressed while participating in Thanksgiving activities. A few common ones are refusing to participate, attempting to leave the room or conversation, distracting others, staring off into space, a sudden change in mood, and complaints of headaches/stomach aches.
5 Tips for a Trauma-Informed Thanksgiving Experience
Thanksgiving can bring up complex emotions for children in foster or kinship care. They may feel caught between wanting to connect with their past and forming new bonds with current caregivers. Here are five ways caregivers can create a supportive Thanksgiving experience:
Lower Your Expectations: Holidays tend to add pressure to the pressure cooker that we call family life. This often occurs because we have high expectations of a “perfect family gathering” that usually falls short when raising children with trauma. Balance out your desire for a Norman Rockwell-esque Thanksgiving with the reality of living with trauma. Lower the bar so everyone has a more enjoyable holiday season.
Be Aware of Triggers: Holiday scents, sounds, and tastes can activate traumatic memories and feelings of loss in children, activating their trauma responses, which commonly include hypervigilance, withdrawal, and dissociative or aggressive behaviors. Knowing where the behavior stems from can calm OUR nervous system.
Set the Scene for Flexibility: Honor the child’s cultural traditions and family rituals. Rather than enforcing your rituals, ask the child what they would like Thanksgiving to look like. Invite them to include how they celebrated in the past with their first/bio family. Respecting their preferences and giving them a choice can help them feel more in control and reduce potential anxiety/meltdowns
Acknowledge All Families: Children often feel loyalty conflicts around the holidays. Reassure them that it’s okay to remember their birth family or former caregivers. Consider lighting a candle or setting aside a moment of reflection in honor of the people who have been important in their lives.
Create New Traditions Together: Invite the child to help create new Thanksgiving traditions. Whether baking a unique dessert or going on a nature walk, letting the child contribute to new traditions fosters a sense of belonging and stability.
Avoid Forcing Gratitude: While Thanksgiving is often associated with gratitude, don’t pressure the child to express thankfulness if they’re not ready. Trauma can make feelings of gratitude complex; instead, let them express whatever feels authentic without expectation.
Offer Emotional Space and Validation: Children in care often carry mixed emotions during the holidays. Let them know that all their feelings—sadness, joy, or something in between—are valid. Remind them that there’s no “right” way to feel and that you’re there to support them.
Through small yet meaningful changes, teachers and caregivers can create a Thanksgiving experience that respects the unique needs of children in foster and kinship care. Sensitivity, inclusion, and flexibility go a long way in helping these children feel safe, respected, and seen. By fostering an environment that honors their feelings and experiences, we can make Thanksgiving a little brighter for them.
For free webinars on trauma-informed care for children, visit and subscribe to my YouTube Channel or my blog.
Many adults aren’t feeling grateful either this Thanksgiving, and that’s okay, too. Once we express how we really feel, we are more likely to find room in our hearts for thankfulness. Keep up the good fight out there. We got this!
________________________________________________________________________________
Client Testimonial
I was the keynote speaker for the Oklahoma Infant Mental Health Conference in October. This week, I received some beautiful and touching feedback from Carly Harris, the Program Director of the Oklahoma Association for Infant Mental Health (OK-AIMH), and I want to share the happy news with you!
To schedule an event or virtual workshop on preventing and healing birth trauma in 2025, contact me today.
________________________________________________________________________________
The Trauma Champion of the Month
Trina Kennedy, RSW, BAHSA, is the author of the brave new book, From Trauma to Triumph and What Lies Between. I had the privilege of writing the foreword for Trina’s book, and I can’t wait for all of you to get your hands on a copy!
In her story, Trina shares a moving narrative about healing from trauma and discovering inner strength. Drawing from over thirty years in human services, she intertwines professional insights with her personal journey toward self-acceptance. This book delves into the interplay between vulnerability and resilience, illustrating how embracing one’s past can lead to transformative growth. Each chapter encourages reflection and offers guidance on navigating the challenging yet rewarding process of personal recovery.
With heartfelt examples and practical advice, Trina shows that monumental change is possible even in our darkest moments. From Trauma to Triumph and What Lies Between is a beacon of hope for anyone on a journey of self-discovery or healing, affirming the possibility of a future full of potential and peace.
Learn more about Trina and her work as a trainer and coach on her website, and explore how understanding and overcoming the shadows of your past can unlock a life filled with new opportunities!
_________________________________________________
Upcoming Events & Webinars
Join trauma-informed experts Becky Haas and Beth Tyson for an empowering webinar on supporting children in the family court system!
Learn compassionate strategies to help kids navigate trauma, resilience-building tools, and how to create safe, healing-centered environments in justice settings. Together, let’s foster healing and hope for young lives.
Register today to get the early-bird 2-for-1 price!
What You Will Learn:
1. Understand the unique challenges faced by children navigating the family court and justice systems.
2. Recognize trauma triggers commonly experienced by children in court proceedings.
3. Learn practical strategies to create trauma-informed environments within court-related contexts.
4. Explore the impact of trauma on child behavior, emotional responses, and long-term development.
5. Identify tools for fostering resilience in children involved in the justice system.
6. Enhance empathetic communication skills for interacting with children who have experienced trauma.
We hope you can join us. Register HERE and get your half-price ticket before it’s gone!
________________________________________________________________________________
Free Live Webinar – Wednesday, November 20th
You’re Invited to the Forum on Pennsylvania’s Children
Elevate your advocacy and services.
Re-traumatization is past trauma made present. Understanding and avoiding re-traumatization is imperative for advocates and child-serving professionals. At the Forum on Pennsylvania’s Children, we will learn how to create trauma-informed systems and settings to enhance a sense of safety and calm. This is an in-person event.
Together, we can do more!
________________________________________________________________________________
My New Children’s Book is Coming Soon!
The Wait is Almost Over!
I know it’s been a long time coming, but this story and its illustrations mean so much to me that I had to make sure every detail was JUST RIGHT.
I’m thrilled to share an early look at the cover of my new book (above)! By staying subscribed to this newsletter, you’ll be the first to know the official release date for December. Plus, you’ll receive an exclusive invitation to the virtual launch party, where I’ll do a live reading of the book and give away free copies to some lucky winners!
Sullivan Goes to See Mama is a story to help children navigate the big emotions that come up while attending supervised visits with bio/first family members. It helps children feel seen, empowered, and supported through what is often a very difficult experience.
What’s special about this story is how it helps children mentally prepare for supervised time with biological family members, which can prevent trauma.
Sullivan Goes to See Mama is the perfect companion for caregivers, therapists, school counselors, social workers, and visit supervisors.
My first children’s book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan, is a story to empower kinship families and children being raised by their relatives and fictive kin. You can watch a full recording of me reading the book this past weekend for Global Read for Kids with the Charter for Compassion.
Thank you for being part of this journey—your support means the world to me. Stay tuned for more exciting updates!
________________________________________________________________________________
Free Resource: Talking Early & Often: Body Safety for Kids
What I’m Reading – Current News and Research
- Recent research by neuroscientists at the University of Lausanne highlights that serotonin plays a crucial role in resilience to adversity and depression.
- Pioneering Nonprofit Treats the Remnants of Grief with Somatic Healing Techniques
- Navigating Political Turmoil
- Pregnancy Can Awaken Ancient Viruses in Your DNA Study Reveals
________________________________________________
Quote of the Month
“The Pilgrims truly were, in many ways, the forefathers of the nation, helping to establish a flawed democratic system, a tolerance of intolerance, and a hunger for territorial expansion.”
— The True Story Of Thanksgiving: Smallpox and Native Genocide (History As We Never Knew It) by William Blatch
________________________________________________________________________________
In Closing
If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I wish you a peaceful day full of turkey, stuffing, and my favorite, cranberry sauce. And it has to be the gel-in-the-can version—no other kind will do! What about you? Canned or fresh? Let me know by responding to this email.
If you found value in this edition of the CTN, please share it with one friend or colleague who might also find it helpful. If you are reading it for the first time, you can subscribe to have it delivered to your inbox monthly at BethTyson.com.
If you would like to schedule an event or continuing education for your staff in 2025, please contact me. I have three dates available in January, February, and March. Grab them before they are gone!
For a 15% discount, check out my one-page flyer on the services I provide. Please share with others!
I’ll be back in mid-December with another edition of the Childhood Trauma Newsletter. You can access previous editions of this newsletter on my blog HERE.
Don’t forget to follow me on LinkedIn and Facebook, where I have a large following of mental health professionals and a private group for trauma-informed parenting.
With hope, compassion, and love,
Beth Tyson, MA
Childhood Trauma Consultant
