Stop Intrusive Thoughts in Their Track: Strategies for Children with Trauma

The January 2024 Childhood Trauma Newsletter – by Beth Tyson, MA

Photo by Glenna Haug on Unsplash

 

Hi Trauma Champion,

Welcome to the January 2024 Childhood Trauma Newsletter. If you make time to read this newsletter I am so proud of you! Helping children heal from trauma is the most important work we can do in 2024.

This month, it was put on my heart to share strategies to help children cope with intrusive thoughts. If your child has an active imagination it’s likely they are experiencing some intrusive thoughts that could be increasing their anxiety.

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and distressing ideas, images, or impulses that enter an individual’s mind involuntarily. Children, like adults, can experience intrusive thoughts. It’s important to note that occasional intrusive thoughts are a normal part of human experience, but persistent or distressing thoughts may require attention. Here are some common types of intrusive thoughts that children may experience:

Fear-based thoughts:

  • Fear of harm to oneself or others.
  • Fear of accidents or disasters.
  • Fear of getting sick or being contaminated.

Aggressive thoughts:

  • Thoughts of harming others, even loved ones.
  • Violent or aggressive impulses.
  • Fear of losing control and causing harm.

Inappropriate thoughts:

  • Sexual thoughts that may be uncomfortable for the child.
  • Socially inappropriate thoughts or behaviors.

Perfectionistic thoughts:

  • Obsessive thoughts about doing things perfectly.
  • Fear of making mistakes or not meeting certain standards.

Magical thinking:

  • Irrational beliefs that one’s thoughts can influence events.
  • Superstitious thoughts or fears.

Religious or blasphemous thoughts:

  • Intrusive thoughts related to religious beliefs or taboos.

Unwanted memories:

  • Intrusive memories of past traumatic events.
  • Memories that trigger anxiety or distress.

Health-related thoughts:

  • Obsessive worries about illness or physical symptoms.
  • Fear of germs or contamination.

Intrusive thoughts are more common in children who have experienced trauma, loss, and abuse. They may have intrusive thoughts as a way of processing or attempting to make sense of their experiences.

I know so many children (and adults) are silently suffering with these 💩 thoughts, and it’s high time we make the unmentionable, mentionable!

For people who feel safe in their bodies, intrusive thoughts are just mental noise they can easily forget about. But, those people with a hyper-alert nervous system will tend to overestimate the power of disturbing thoughts, assigning meaning that doesn’t belong! The meaning they assign to the thoughts causes a lot of anxiety and uncomfortable feelings in their body.

When a thought creates anxiety, we typically try to suppress the thought. This makes total sense because avoidance is our instinctual reaction to fear as humans.

However, suppression only causes more scary thoughts to arise. It’s like if I tell my child they can’t eat chocolate, and then all they can think about is chocolate. (I might know from experience.)

Stopping Intrusive Thoughts in Children

  • Recognize these thoughts as a common occurrence across the human population. Ninety percent of people report experiencing scary, intrusive thoughts throughout their lifespan. They usually begin between 8-13 years old when major hormonal shifts are taking place in their bodies, but children with trauma may experience them as early as 4-5 years old. Knowing this will reduce your anxiety, which will, in turn, reduce the child’s anxiety.
  • Do not be afraid of the thoughts. Tell the child to think the thought and keep thinking it until they are tired of it. Eventually, they will get bored of thinking the same thought and will move on to something more interesting.
  • Teach the child that thoughts cannot hurt us or others. We are afraid of the thought because we would never do it! It’s bumping up against our value system, creating fear and disgust.
  • Argue with the thoughts using logic. Look into the probability of the fearful act happening. Search for reasons why the thoughts might not be accurate. For example, if a child fears that they might hurt someone, ask them what evidence they have.

Normalizing intrusive thoughts will be enough for some children. Others will need more help, and that’s normal too. Please note that the above guidance is for educational purposes only. Every child will have different strategies that work and don’t work.

Various forms of evidence-based exposure therapy are typically effective at reducing intrusive thoughts and anxiety. 

It’s important to recognize that experiencing intrusive thoughts doesn’t necessarily indicate a mental health disorder. However, if these thoughts persist, cause significant distress, or interfere with a child’s daily life, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a mental health professional. A trained therapist or counselor can help assess the situation and provide appropriate support and strategies for managing intrusive thoughts in children.

Always seek therapy with a licensed mental health provider if your child’s anxiety is interfering with their ability to learn, love, and/or play. I promise things can get better. 

To learn more about helping people cope with anxiety, trauma, and loss subscribe to this free newsletter at BethTyson.com.

Resource of the Month:

A free assessment tool for childhood trauma!

From their website:

“Children form their sense of self in the context of their relationships. When these relationships are unsafe or threatening, children’s nervous systems can become reactive. If trauma can be assessed and intervened initially from a biological perspective rather than a behavioural one, we can settle the same states of arousal that inhibit children from engaging in relationships that can be a resource for their healing.”

The Trauma Expression and Connection Assessment (TECA) – A new tool to support healing and connection – Australian Childhood Foundation Professionals

 

What’s New at Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting?

On April 23 & 24, I will present at the Pennsylvania CASA Conference on childhood trauma and loss. As a CASA volunteer and a member of the advisory board in Delaware County (formally known as Delco), I am so excited for this opportunity, and honored to be a presenter at this yearly event! Registration is open, and if you are going, let’s plan to meet up. Register HERE.

For the past five years, I’ve advocated for the well-being of two children in the foster care system as a CASA volunteer, and it was a life-changing experience for all of us. If you are interested in getting involved or want to know more about what it’s like to be a CASA volunteer, please reach out to me for more information. If you don’t have time to volunteer but would like to donate to this cause, you can do so HERE.

 

 

Coming Soon: Sullivan Goes to See Mama

I took a much-needed break from work in December to spend time with my family and enjoy the holiday season. I also continued writing and editing my 2nd children’s book, Sullivan Goes to See Mama: A story to help children cope with supervised visitation. This new book is a sequel to my first book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan, but can also stand alone.

Thank you for weighing in on social media about what I should name this new book. Your ideas helped me come to the final decision, and I can’t thank you enough!

While writing the story, I learned that many children in kinship or foster care don’t like the word “visit” in reference to their time with biological parents. Out of respect for those children, I decided not to use the word visit in my book. The book is a tool for children required to attend supervised visits with their biological family due to safety issues.

Other exciting news! I added a new character to the plot, and her name is Evelynne. She is the visit supervisor who ensures Sullivan has fun on his visit. Check her out! 

Free Webinar: Helping Kinship Families Cope with Ambiguous Loss

Please SAVE YOUR SPOT for my next free webinar for kinship families! It will take place:

Tuesday, January 16th, 2024

11:30-12:30 PM EST. 

There are only about 15 spots left. So don’t miss out!

It is sponsored by Kinship Caregivers Connect, a non-profit founded by Angela Tobin in Ohio. If you know a grandparent raising their grandchildren, please share the registration link with them. 

 

 

Playing Now: Season 2 of All Connected – A Place for Belonging

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHLj0LU19EU&list=PLsLWimD2L4FvT4M6R107Ka-Pk4i43Frew&index=7

I am one of the co-creators of All Connected: A Place for Belonging, a short-form animated series built for those who have experienced childhood trauma. This free series aims to educate viewers on how the brain works, how trauma impacts the mind/body and our relationships, and how healthy coping strategies and positive support networks can help us recover from traumatic experiences. 

A few of the topics covered in Season 2:

  • Your most important relationship is with YOU
  • What is therapy?
  • How to choose a therapist
  • Understanding triggers
  • Strategies for healing from trauma 

If you are creating content, training, programs, or projects that need evidence-based information on children’s mental health and childhood trauma, please CONTACT ME.

 

 

Quote of the Month

Image created by ShellyRobinson.com

Positive News from the Field of Mental Health

  • The Finnish Approach to Psychosis That is Working
https://www.positive.news/society/the-finnish-approach-to-psychosis/
  • Exploring Community-led Mental Health Projects Around the Globe
https://www.positive.news/lifestyle/what-learned-community-led-mental-health-projects/

This newsletter has grown to over 30K subscribers who want to learn about trauma-informed care. Would you like the opportunity to be featured in this newsletter? If so, please CONTACT ME.

 

 

More Resources by Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting

  • My children’s book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan. A heartwarming, therapeutic story about a grandchild raised by his grandmother due to unfortunate circumstances with his parents. The sequel, Sullivan Goes to See Mama will be released in the next few months. 
  • My private Facebook group, Emotiminds. It is an educational space for people who want to learn about trauma-informed care.
  • Subscribe to my YouTube Channel with previous webinars on various topics regarding childhood trauma and loss.

If you like this newsletter, will you share it with a friend?

See you online!

With hope, grief, and love,

Beth

ABOUT BETH
Beth Tyson is a childhood trauma consultant, 3x best-selling author, and Pennsylvania Child Abuse Prevention Team co-chair. Beth provides trauma-responsive and healing-centered guidance to organizations that believe in improving the mental health of children and families. She is also the author of A Grandfamily for Sullivan, a trauma-informed children’s book for kinship families and children raised by their relatives due to unfortunate circumstances.

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A picture of a book cover stacked on top of more books. The cover of the book says A Grandfamily for Sullivan, and has an illustration of two koalas looking at each other and holding hands.
A GRANDFAMILY FOR SULLIVAN
A Grandfamily for Sullivan is a tender-hearted story about a child’s experience as he travels through the grief and trauma of being separated from his parents and building a new life. It is a realistic, yet hopeful story about the power of courage, compassion, and unconditional love.

Learn More
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